fucking maggot idiot

I received an sms from my project leader last night, confronting me about my inability to come to ANOTHER meeting today at 1 pm.

Well, for one thing, nobody has ever kacau me at a Sunday, okay?! It's my time with my family, dammit, I still need to go home to relieve me from all these stress that you've given me. You can call me whatever you want, I don't mind. I still want and like to go home on weekends to see my family. I won't wanna stare at the same 4 walls like you do!

And then, you confront me, saying things like "Nasha, u better tell me early on if you don't like my way of 'leading' (lol)...i can tolerate ur nonsense rite now just becoz you gave coorperation..but i'm not that eager to be ur boss and edit all your work..." <---something like that.

I don't quote it as a whole coz I seems to have deleted it (oopsie!lol)...but that sms is a kick in the stomach...with spikey shoes. It hurts. It hurts my dignity. I would've wanna reply it back with retort, but I didn't. If I'm high or drunk, I would. But I'm alive and not sleeping at that time....and I thought what's the point? If I did, things will not be the same again between us. If she were to be a stranger to me, it won't be too awkward. But she's within my close classmates. I think I won't be as hurt and not to mention guilty, if I was asleep. I won't give a damn about what you said, MT. But I was up till 3 am.

My reply would be like this (if I don't give a damn):

Firstly, who asks you to edit all the works? This is supposed to be a group project. You're supposed to delegate the stuff to do, and we'll do it ourself. And then get together to combine our works. Not organizing meetings every single fucking day!!!

You know that at the beginning we're all synonimous in making you the project leader. That is simply because you're that bossy. That's the only thing. We know it won't work with any other guys. And, you know what? If you're not the boos oso, you will still be bossy. I just can tell that! So why not just give it to you?

But by smsing me in the middle of the night, telling me off is plain ridiculous, man! I stick by you to do this fucking pain in the ass project, and this is the first time I miss anything! And then you did it...I lost my cool man. Aku memang dah lame bengang ngan ko la MT. I know you're tired, but I think you're mostly tired because of your tendency to be a perfectionist. You worry so much about stupid things! I know you realized that other groups are having fun and still cool, when you thought you're going to die from exhaustion. They just did whatever is required in the project! They don't overthink, and keep on changing things! Even in past years thesis that we looked together, the requirement and design are so simple and some even had some mistakes and inconsistencies. but Still they got an A!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A fucking AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! Why is that? Because the final product is ace! You said that yourself. Can't you remember?

I tell you lah, MT, if you fuss so much, the work won't get done at all. Coz you will keep on changing things and we will get a C or something. So don't blow this la. I'm fed up with you most of the times. I get sour faced. I don't wanna be, but I can't help it. You're a pain in the butt. Sometimes I just wanna run a 100 metres race away from you and get onto a bus. Everything that I do is wrong to you. You asked for opinions from me, but you argue with me. Counteract the things that I suggested. Why did you wanna ask my opinion in the first place? If you're so right, just do it on your own la. Or don't ask people for what they think. Since, what you think is more important.

OK lah...I'm drained. Thanks readers and friends who read this till the end. Sorry to bore you with rants. :( I'm so pissed rite now. Ok my bro wants to use the pc...