new hope

Good news: I joined Fitness First! And I quit Keep Slim!

I went to my first appointment with the personal trainer yesterday 11AM. I was nervous, but she was so friendly. So I'm at ease with her. But it's a bit awkward coz I;ve never been into a gym before (apart from the 'gym' at my matrix haha). The equipments are very scary looking for this first timer. She's really fast! Bringing me from this equipment to the next, which I think she silently chosen for me. At the end of the workout I was sweating and huffing! My shirt was wet, and my hair looks like I had just gone out of the shower. And the strange thing is that I feel that I was doing it so easily. Maybe that has something to do with the fast-ness of my personal trainer. Haha :) I don't feel the time at all. I feel like I wanna do more! Whoa. Maybe this is the effect if you exercise with a personal trainer. No wonder people are paying big bucks for their service!

The effect of the workout is that I can't stop sweating after that. I felt very hot! And the absolute aftermath of the exercise is that my muscles felt very sengal and painful (painful is too strong a word to use here, but my limited vocabulary is a pain). I'm still feeling the pain in my arms, shoulders, and mostly my thigh area. I think it's normal for a person who never exercised before, well other than walking and jogging of course. I'm liking it, this sengalness. It makes me feel that I've done something right for myself. The path of being healthier, and knowing that I'm doing it the proper way, by exercising. And not by laying there getting massaged, exposed to bio-ray and getting into a hot blanket.

I asked my mother to do the rest of my treatment. I'm so glad that she agreed, coz she knows that I hate the treatments. I think it suited her better coz she don't pack a lot of fat. Just a couple of kgs more. Can you imagine ME slimming down with only their treatment? From 120 kg to 56 kg just by laying there, lathered up and getting wrapped up? So I have to be realistic. I can't do the treatment for the long run. It is very expensive. And look at my 3 months there...not much difference at all. Better to plan for the long haul, coz being healthy and lose weight is a life-long battle. Exercise and balanced nutrition are the best bet. Tried and true from way back. But it's the discipline and dedication that I need to get used to.

So far, my first day was very good! I loved it. I love sweating. Makes me feel fresh and alive. Yay! I used to hate sweating but not anymore! Better to embrace it than to loathe it. :)

Now I just wish that the pain will go away tomorrow. And remembering my dreams.

P/s: The guys at the gym really intimidated me...sweaty, bulky...I don't think I can find em anywhere other than the gym. Thank God my personal trainer is with me, if I were to start going to the gym ALONE, I don't think I can get anything done coz I'd be shy and scared...LOL :D

I love first times!

Regarding my last post:

That guy is a fake. Aku dapat tau melalui researching thru internet pasal IP address. Aku jejak emel dia, dan terbuktilah dia emel dari M'sia. That's how I know dia tipu aku. Mula-mula, aku syak something's wrong bila dia emel aku salinan airway bill hadiah yang dia nak hantar kat aku. Dari situ aku tau benda tu fake sebab nama syarikat kurier tu pelik sangat. Aku tanak cakap kat sini sebab aku takut in case dia baca. I'm kinda paranoid since all this happened. Dia chat ngan aku, dia cakap suh aku pegi website kurier tu untuk track hadiah tu punya proses penghantaran. Aku pegi kat link yang dia kasi tu. Dari website tu je aku dah syak. Web tu simple sangat and seemed tak berapa rasmi dan profesional. Logo dia pun cam klakar...gambar2 pegawai kurier tengah angkat kotak2 tu pun di photoshop dengan diletakkan logo syarikat tu kat atas kotak2 tersebut.

Aku tak bodo. Aku dah syak something, so aku tak endahkan dia. Dia suruh aku isi maklumat aku kat web tu supaya pihak kurier boleh bagitau aku pasal pakej tu. Dahlah tulisan dalam scan resit kurier tu buruk giler. Alamat dia sendiri pun tak lengkap. Hantar barang berat2. Memang tak masuk akal la.

Tetiba aku teringat yang aku kasi alamat aku kat dia. That's the time when I thought I was screwed. Aku takut sangat. Aku dah track dia, and dia kat M'sia. Menyamar. SO aku takut dia might do something. Dia ada alamat aku...takut dia rompak ke, stalk aku ke, apa2 kan family aku ke..

Aku terus call adik aku kat rumah, suruh dia jaga mak ngan papa aku baik-baik. Walaupun aku tau adik aku budak2 lagi. I just tell him be careful, kalau ada orang tekan loceng jangan pegi layan. Aku takut sangat to the point of crying. Masa tu kat opis, so takleh la nak sedih. Just cemas sangat.

Aku tak layan dia sejak ari tu. Dia cakap dia nak gi Bahamas...and masa dia cakap tu dia ada kat opis dia (kononnye la..memang kalu ikut masa uk tengah pagi). Aku cakap la, 'ko tak keje ke? boleh free2 chat ngan aku?'. Dia cakap 'aku keje, tapi aku bos, boleh buat suka ati'. Aku just cakap 'U r a liar'. Sebab aku dah geram. Dia pernah cakap dia ambik projek2, kena buat proposal, cakap dia tengah pokai masa tu, kalau dia dah dapat projek tu boleh belikan aku hadiah2. Jelas sekali waktu tu dia pekerja biasa. Skang dia cakap dia bos lak.

Dia cam marah aku cakap dia 'liar'. Then dia cakap 'ok tanks u'. Siapa orang uk yang cakap cam budak tak betul cam ni? Tanks u? Nampak sangat macam orang tak fasih english. Aku dah pikir lain. Aku rasa orang ni orang itam kot?! And then aku teringat yang orang itam dari afrika suka scam orang. Aku terjumpa website yang list kan kes2 scam, ada banyak melibatkan orang dari dating sites. Ramai pompuan terkena. Jangkaan aku terhadap dia semakin kuat. Sah la. Sejak itu aku tak layan.

One night, aku bukak laptop, ym aku pun bukak la. Pastu aku gi la tengok tv ngan mak n adik aku. Masa tu dah kul 10 malam. Tetiba ada orang tekan loceng umah aku. Banyak kali plak tu. Aku dah takut ngan phobia. Aku cakap ngan mak aku jangan tengok. Aku takut. Mak aku ingat orang jaga mintak duit yuran sekuriti. Aku ngan adik aku pujuk mak aku jangan pegi tengok. "Takkan malam2 buta nak kutip hutang kot, mak. Jangan bukak...ignore je." Aku cakap. Aku kecikkan tv, sit still tak bergerak. Sampai tahan nafas...takut giler masa tu. Aku dah syak mungkin dia kot. Tapi till now aku tak tau who was that.

Then, bila dah takde bunyi loceng lagi, aku tengok sikit dari langsir (nasib baik ada langsir tebal). Takde orang dah. Aku pegi kat laptop aku. Aku terkejut tengok ym. Dia ada mesej. Hi. How are you. BUZZ. Tu je. Pastu dia log out at 9.30 gitu. Aku takut...dia kan ada kat KL, so itu menguatkan perasaan aku yang menyatakan dia datang...but I can't be sure about that. Sampai sekarang I'm not sure who was that.

Alhamdulillah, till now nothing bad happened. Aku harap keluarga aku akan selamat selamanya. Harap dia lupakan aku. Harap dia dah tak plan apa2 benda yang jahat. Dia pun dah stop mesej aku kat OC. Dah tak nampak dia online kat ym. So hope that dia lupakan aku.

Now I've learnt my lesson. Aku tak pernah terjebak ngan apa2 penipuan sebelum ni. I thought that I'm smart and strong. But this experience mengajar aku supaya jangan vulnerable sangat. Don't think that it will never happen to you. Jangan yakin sangat ngan orang dari online. And most important, don't be too desperate.

Itulah what happened to me. Aku tulis camni pu sebab masih takut dia secretly ikut aku online. Who knows...google pandai cari orang. Aku takut dia baca blog aku ni. So cakap melayu la kali ni..

I think I've been scammed.

I'm scared.

blahhhh wekk

I don't know what to say. I don't know what to feel.

This guy is extremely boring. Something has to do with a) time difference, and b) he's always (seemed) busy.

Then he said he wants to give me laptop, chocolate, gold necklace, etc. Asked me for my address to send them to. I don't think those sorta gifts are appropriate for me, who had been only chatting for a week. Not even chatting, just hi, how r u, have u eaten, r u busy, that type of talk!

I don't know if I can trust him. I asked him "Can I trust you? Don't do anything stupid with my details" and he just said, "why would I do that? I'm not someone in the third world country to do that sorta thing".

Huhh...in other words "Lu Pikirlah Sendiri"

How can I believe him? His pictures looks like it's taken from some celeb website, he sent me poems everyday (about the same old thing). Wanna look at one he recently sent me? Here:

Hi my lovely friend

How was your last night?
Hope you slept well
Because i know God will surely made
You that because your his number
He think of your the most precious one he will not
Abandon bear it in mind he love's you
Well I wishes you today all your plane
Will be success what ever you
Touch will turn to gold
Enough favor big expatiation.

I wanted to thank you,
But I couldn't explain,
What it means to have a friend
To share life's joys and pains.
It's good to know our friendship
Is one of endless devotion?
Forged out of respect
And every kind emotion;
It’s patient and forgiving,
Never failing or forsaking
When a hand is outstretched
Or a heart is breaking;
It’s ever faithful
Even when the world condemns,
And sparkles in the darkness
Like a rare and precious gem.
And it does my heart well
At the end of the day
To know you'll never be
Farther than an email away.

I can't tell you how much,
Your friendship means to me,
But thank you, friend!

Bye take care of your self
My regard to your family
And friends say hi to them all.

Imagine you receive poems like this every single day...

I want to vomit now.

At first, it seems very thoughtful, like I just wanna go "Ahhhh~ ♥"

But now, it's so boring! Furthermore, 'friends'. Does he seriously think a girl just wanna be friends?? When he's looking for a girl in OKCUPID?? A DATING SITE!!

I don't wanna be just friends!


GOSH!

*end of rant*

wtf happened to me?

Wow.

My pics are in my friendster. Please come and see it there, okay. Its not very convenient to post them here since there's so many.

My University supervisor will come next Wednesday, and I seriously don't know what to do if he comes here. Argh.

My mum has meetings till Thursday. And I have to stay back. On Monday, we went home at 12.30 AM. That's a first for the both of us. I am scared, alone in her room in the middle of the night. I even managed to shock myself by mistaking the beat of the song Juliet - Emilie Autumn, with someone banging on the door. Seriously, I have never detected that beat before when I listened to it on my pc, but I listened to it on the earphone and cellphone and there it waaas...shocking stuff.

Thankfully, yesterday we can go home at 8.30PM. I actually prepared myself to stay back late till midnight and even bought my KAMI DVD to watch, but since my mum's done early, I didn't managed to watch it. Maybe tonite I can watch, coz mum says that today will be more hectic coz there's over 20 ppl coming to present their budgets etc etc. So I'm pretty prepared, mentally and physically...and brought stuff like magazines, my HDD with loads of movies in it, and my freshly charged phone (for music purposes).

Also, I found this guy on okcupid from Liverpool. Yeah. Actually he found me, and sent me a message. I was shocked, coz most guys that message me from there are niggas and one iranian whos a sex freak (i ignored him now, and I ignored all niggas). I dunno why niggas like me! I'm scared of them. They scare me so much. No matter how sweet their words are. I'm so afraid to layan, coz they're everywhere! I thought if I layan them, they're come get me and do bad things to me (eg rape).

So this Liverpool guy, I think I like him. *blushing*

I didn't at first, coz I thought he's just like others (who likes to talk about sex only). But he's very sweet. He didn't even hinted on sex. Just chatting to get to know each other. I dunno why, but he likes to ask me about my family (pretty odd, lol). But...yeah...it's kinda funny, coz we've only chatted that one time only, 2 days ago...but I kinda miss him and think about him every day.

He sent me poems for 2 days now... *melting*

I feel guilty that I don't have the talent for poems. I want to write poems for him too~

The thing is; we have 8 hours difference. So when I get to work, 8 AM, he's preparing to sleep already. So we can only chat to say hi, how are you etc...then he has to sleep. Huhu...

So he's sleeping now...I hope he dreams about me...haha

Ok I don't wanna let my hopes up too high. Who knows if he's just playing with me?? So I'll just be friends and see what happens.

Thats all for the updates. Babai for now..

replace me?

While waiting for the raya photos, mari kiter layan gambo2 ni dulu, k? This is the latest pics! I took them a few minutes ago...yay..



My desk...so messy. I love my pc! I'm drinking oligo coco! I have 3 mugs.

Oligo coucow, pilihan yang hebat, ceria gembira, nikmati bersammaa...




And this is me, looking surprised. I'm surprised that I'm a cam-whore! OMGah!


P/s: I transferred my raya pics to my home pc last night, but foolishly forgotten to transfer it to my harddiskie! There's something wrong with my modem at home, so I know that I have to upload it at work. Now, I can't coz all the pics are at home :'(

up to the date

Hey hey hey!

Long time no see!

Selamat Hari Raya sume! I know it's late, but, whatever.

Aku balik kampung raye aritu!! After a long, long time, I went back to Johor. I got lots of duit raya.

I got pics, but I haven't transferred them to my pc yet, so until I do, you have to wait...hehe.

Nothing much, mostly of inanimate things, lol. I cam whored a lot...

*smiles*